A Statement of Inclusion: Clarifying our position

The Harriott Consortium was founded to create an affirming spaces for women marginalized by gender and sexuality in the broader BDSM scene. We met at a women's play party, became Family through the Desire Leather event, and formed HC, initially with the intention to continue the Desire Legacy. When that did not work out, we decided to turn our love of women-centered play spaces into a local San Diego party that continued in Desire LeatherWomen Unleashed's spirit; no-holds barred risk aware kink by women and for women.

Our mission statement, an attempt to wordsmith our target community without disenfranchising people dear to us with the binary word "women", has led to ambiguity and confusion. I, in particular, as the primary face of HC, have struggled to clearly convey how my politics, my morals, and my friendships are firmly aligned with the fullness of the BDSM community, regardless of gender, gender expression, ethnicity, or sexual orientation, while at the same time wanting to target a specific subset of that community that I love: women-identified people. I have been unclear with language - too concise and direct, too brusque and insensitive. It isn't an excuse but an explanation that I am a woman of a certain age who has been socialized and am comfortable in a gender binary. I have more to learn.

Recently, concerns have been raised suggesting that our policies reflect trans-exclusionary beliefs. We want to be unequivocally clear: The Harriott Consortium is not a TERF organization. We fully support the rights, dignity, and gender identities of all transgender people. We recognize trans women as women, and we actively work to include and welcome them at our events. We recognize that trans men as men and support their dignity and rights in the community.

Our parties are intentionally designed as affinity spaces for individuals whose lived experiences are shaped by their identity as a woman. This includes cis women and trans women, regardless of their outward gender expression. These gatherings are not meant to diminish or invalidate the identities of others, but rather to foster community, safety, and connection among people who share certain experiences in navigating gendered marginalization.

We acknowledge the complexities of identity and know that no single space can meet the needs of all people. We remain committed to listening, learning, and evolving in conversation with our community. We stand firmly against transphobia, misogyny, and exclusion—and we are proud to hold space that is rooted in solidarity, not separation.
For those who feel impacted by these conversations, we invite dialogue rooted in mutual respect and shared liberation. Our collective strength lies in how we care for one another.

—
Xeta (@xeta)
The Harriott Consortium